I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
