I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
