You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i dont even know how to be here
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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