I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
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I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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