Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
