No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
