yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
