I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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