yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
