respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
