do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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