the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
