Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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