I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
