I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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