Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I think I just sharted jello shots
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
