You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
