I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Send help, water and tortillas.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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