Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
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