those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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