This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
