when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
