You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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