He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
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I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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