did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
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I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
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Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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