I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
A+ Viking dick
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
