i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
