unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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