Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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