I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
