So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
