i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize