Someone shit on the floor
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
