I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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