Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Such a big mess for such a small penis
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
