are you still at the devil's house?
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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