I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Acid is not a monday night drug
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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