Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
