If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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