i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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