Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(828): View more from North Carolina

I am a bulletproof tiger!

(615): View more from Tennessee

Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.

(828): View more from North Carolina

I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?

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(816): View more from Missouri

My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.

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(914): View more from New York

after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.

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(618): View more from Illinois

the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux

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(406): View more from Montana

i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.

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(330): View more from Ohio

its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.

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(870): View more from Arkansas

I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.

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(310): View more from California

The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.

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