whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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