I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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