this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
