Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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