I want to stick my p in your. b.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
