I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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