DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize