This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
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