When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
