Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize