My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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