i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
