I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
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