I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
How's work?
Spinning.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
