Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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