i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize