after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
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You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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