yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
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