Can i not drive my cunt home
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
