And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize