I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
