I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
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I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
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Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
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