Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
