That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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