Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
