guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
