I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize