ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize