I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
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