I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
