I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
