Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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