I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
