I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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